Empowered Pigeon

I cannot express the feeling I had when I realized what was happening within my subtle body and channels during the last class of Series VII: Dakini Twilight Language .. but I'll try to.

So there I was in the presence of four Dakinis, when I realized we had all done this before together - the dancing, the laughing, the silent unspoken understanding that we were once again in our sacred circle increasing the pure energy around us, breathing the same air as the demons we secretly brought along to class with us, fiercely loving the flow of our course body in whatever way it moved according to our subtle body's needs. Within that space of my bedroom and of her living room and in her den, we blended the outer, inner, and secret parts of ourselves together without trying or from course of action - it just manifested .. my heart space physically felt a deep pang of ecstatic bliss that pushed tears to form and a sacred noise to exit my mouth, and my bedroom turned into the mandala that is the grain of sand within this corner of whichever of the great Eight Charnel Grounds I have claimed. I stood holding that for as long as I could before the prana stirred and I began to dance again. All I could think of over and over was that Khandro-la was right! .. she has told us that it will all come together someday, and it did.

It did!

Although, I have felt this physical feeling before and not in the same enjoyment context - the last time I felt this feeling it was a deep sadness that woke me from a nightmare and within that splinter of reality I don't know why I was so sad, but my heart space physically felt a deep pang of [what I thought was sadness] that pushed tears to form and a sacred noise to exit my mouth. I've had this happen to me three times since the death of my father and alone in the darkness, I try to retrace the steps of my dream but to no avail. The physical feeling of unknown grief and loss reflected the exact physical feeling of spontaneous bliss and happiness from class, and so, again, Khandro-la was right .. the outer, inner, and secret charnel grounds, messengers, dakini, and everything else is the equanimity we ask for on this path and without it there's no point in walking it. It all just is - the good, the bad, and the inescapable [ https://www.dakiniswhisper.com/dakinis-corner-blog/in-the-charnel-grounds/the-good-the-bad-the-inescapable/dl-6eee1e48-a135-4a3b-b6ce-4b6535221efb?origin=notification&postId=62157108ad51c20017acd5a9&commentId=6eee1e48-a135-4a3b-b6ce-4b6535221efb ].

The deep gratitude I feel for having found @Dakinis Whisper Khandro-la through confidence in my own karmic path elicits the same feeling within my course and subtle bodies as when I have laid in the dark with unanswered questions, and just as when I have danced within the sacred circle. It feels satisfying and empowering to be mirroring the dance and play of other Dakinis in this world just as a pigeon would with its friends in the park .. for we are all choosing to be on this same path together here, now, and in this lifetime. I cannot believe my good fortune to have found Khandro-la!

It is my prayer that I may transmute this physical feeling of grief and of bliss into any way I can to help another sentient being in this world. May I have fierce compassion for myself and for others as we navigate the outer, inner, and secret charnel grounds we carry. May I be of service to others knowing that they are hurting too, and may we find only what Vajrayogini knows we need. May I mirror the dharma of my teacher, and may I be the face of a Dakini in this world to any sentient being that needs to see Her face.