Machik's 5 slogans! I have heard them before and most likely read about them as well, before and after I first picked up my Chod Damaru.
After Khandro-la shared these teachings with us, I went to the wild forest nearby and walked! In the nature that nurtures I walked through each of those 5 slogans and asked myself: Where did my prideful, judgmental and arrogant mind block me from going?.... Who have I not helped because my ego got in the way.... What AM I attached to? What faults am I still harboring, what faults have I turned a blind eye to!
I sat and walked and cried and laughed and walked and walked for hours.... and really worked to not let the uprising of stuck emotional patterns and tendencies carry me away. To remain present and at the same time rest in what was arising and to look directly at that which was arising - without flinching away or following it. In this case, they all did not liberate in their own ground.... It was clear I still had work to do with these! I was caught by them and was even afraid to practice!
These strong powerful demons of mine really had 'their' claws dug deep.... there were uprisings everywhere! Inside and Outside. My mind was in chaos and at times I felt if I wavered and followed any of it, my mind would not so much as 'unravel' but twist into madness. "Pe'!!!"
So perhaps next time, I will work with 1 slogan at a time and not all 5 at once! My root Lama (Shangpa lineage) repeatedly told us in class: Easy, Gently, Slowly... advice that transcends lineages!
The fierce and wrathful energy of Troma Nakmo (SBT series III) and the juicy fire of Vajrayogini, compassionately filled me with love, my heart cracked opened and I was able to break free of the God/Demons I had held onto so tightly..... What you are attached to.... give that!