I sit here after this mornings crazy practice. Technology not going to plan, not being able to log in to practice and not holding space for practice on the Dakini zoom space.
This is what showed up in the after glow..
There is a place inside me that will! make any thing asked of me happen.
I will create and hold space for the on going growth, of all of us who are carrying the bundle that this river carries.
I will walk solidly and surely in any charnel ground that shows up.
Which ever God or Demon shows, I will feed and nurture, offer Dharma and this illusionary body.
This is my resolve.
I will carry this bundle, to all who need to hear it and experience these teachings. In this life, in all lives.
This experience today has just created more resolve. The closer we get to our personal Vision. The more Darkness steps in to hinder that. So today I set my line in the sand and grab the rudder of this vessel. This is my Dharma, my awakening for the benefit of all beings.
The times we live in needs heart, heart to remain focused on what is needed and being called for.
So fuck it, just make it happen, what ever shows up.
Excuse my language, this is my resolve to make practice happen. No matter what!
Stand up and do your practice as it is. For this is what is is. Stand up and do not be apologetic for how you give your Dharma.
Who is to judge how it looks or what it sounds like. No one! I do not need another' approval to get on with life or live the aspect of the Devine that I experess.
Most people hide away in some cave waiting for the day they will sound and look perfect before they get on with it.
Hiding away because the demon of perfection has them by the short and curly's. Judgement of self allows the demon of procrastination to hop into the drivers seat. Calling out to the demon of doubt to ride shotgun. While the demon of self worth jumps in the back seat to whisper softly into the ear. "You're not good enough yet, you'll need to try harder still yet, you're not worthy enough yet"
To these demons of judgement, I put the big one fingered salute in to the air.
Emptiness am I, clear light! I am dharma my life is dharma.
I will awaken for the benefit of all beings. Such is the fierceness of my resolve.
This retreat is giving me the food I need and the demons I need to feed on. Then, like all good big chunky meals do. The need to then go and release, all that fresh compost. To carry on growing with.