@Dakinis Whisper Khandro-la, are there any practices we as females should do and/or not do when we are menstruating? While I realize that as a yoga teacher myself my response to a student would be, "What feels right for your body during that time?" However, I feel that our lineage SBT practice may have some kind of suggestion for this, but more so --- what do you, as my teacher, recommend for the time during mensuration? I found tummo practice today to be more challenging during this time for me in terms of the somatic, not meditative. Of course, menstruation is a "go within" time for females so that didn't surprise me, but my body felt antsy ready to move and yet I just wanted to lay down exhausted at the same time. The thought to ask this crossed my course mind during the trulkor exercises. A la la. Thank you!

In the last Subtle Body Training class, Khandro-la asked us to be like tigers as we progress into our week. Fierce and courageous, "Where does the tiger live in you," she asked. Before ending, the well-known Shakyamuni Buddha tiger story was cited, but there is another one that I thought of first -- that of the Wisdom Dakini Yeshe Tsogyal, and I want to share her tigress story because Yeshe Tsogyal is an emanation of Vajrayogini and the form body of [pre] Machig Labdron. Yeshe Tsogyal was my origin Buddha before I even heard the story of Shakyamuni, which is others' Buddha origin story. The Dakinis found me first. Another book I read before finding Dakini's Whisper was 'The Life and Visions of Yeshe Tsogyal: The Autobiography of the Great Wisdom Queen', which holds a different perspective on Yeshe Tsogyal's life than that in the book 'Sky Dancer'. Once again bounding through the pages of underlines and tabs -- after I brushed the dust off the cover, the words hit me differently than the first time I read them. In 'Chapter Two: The Princess's Voyages to the Land of Oddiyana', we find Yeshe Tsogyal navigating her way through the great Chimpu charnel ground where she solidifies what defines her: utilizing the means of kindness and nonreactivity when working with every obstacle. Sounds like the underpinnings of Cho to me ... We meet Yeshe Tsogyal in the middle of her twelve year stay when she joins a white-colored womxn who, appearing at daybreak, knocks on Yeshe Tsogyal's door of the Secret Wisdom Cave with her crystal staff. This womxn tells Yeshe Tsogyal that Yeshe Tsogyal doesn't have authentic faith and to find authentic faith, the two must journey together into this womxn's white land. The white-colored womxn takes Yeshe Tsogyal by the hand and shows her places where humans are killing themselves as offerings, where hungry ghosts scrambled for forms of liberation, and finally to a place that feels like a very familiar home [to me] and where the tigress comes to meet us -- it's called The Land of Dakinis and Furies, where the chiefs among them eat flesh and drink blood. Yeshe Tsogyal hadn't noticed yet that at this palace gate when she asked to enter, the two large Dakinis carrying corpses denied her entry because she was unwilling to bravely do what was asked of her (which was to carry one hundred corpses over the threshold) ... but when the white-colored womxn asked to enter, a blue Dakini with red eyes appears and opens the door for both her and Yeshe Tsogyal to enter freely (without carrying any corpses). If the reader knows what they've stepped into with Yeshe Tsogyal and the white-colored womxn, one is awed to be the third party now standing in front of the great bliss union of emptiness and what is spontaneously born from that union. It didn't escape me that this gated place is the center of the open mandala inside the tetrahedron shaped palace of Vajrayogini's mysterious origin, and those flesh eaters are the retinue of Dakinis with Troma Nakmo at the gate of the central channel. It's said in some Vajrayogini commentaries that She is white in the Sambhogakaya and red in the Nirmanakaya. And so, it should come as no surprise that as we three ascend to the upper level of the palace while walking past victory banners made of human skins with supporting beams made of hewed skulls, that the Dakinis at the top of the palace greet the white-colored womxn as [their] Chief named Lives in Peace and who is Vajrayogini Herself! At this point, Holy Vajrayogini sends Yeshe Tsogyal [and us] back to her own place saying, "There is a bounty [there] of amazing spiritual attainment left to gain." And I'll level with you here -- if Vajrayogini said that to me, I'd have reacted with the same panic and tantrum as Yeshe Tsogyal did -- "I can't go there and manage on my own! Won't you come with me?" To which Lives in Peace replies, "I don't have time to go with you. I have to stay here and protect the lives of these adepts who uphold their tantric bonds. Leave here bravely; go and don't doubt yourself." (p. 136) Once outside the palace gate, Yeshe Tsogyal walks through a red land, where the water is the color of blood and bones cover every inch, fires blaze from the mountain peaks and where suns and moons rain from the sky. I again imagine myself as Yeshe Tsogyal dejected and not even concerned with the deluge of suns and moons around her. When suddenly, she finds herself at another gate that's again guarded by two similar large Dakinis as before. But this time, they ask Yeshe Tsogyal to go out and kill a tigress and her cubs bringing them back as the means to enter this city. If there was ever a time to push back, this was the point of the story to do it and that's exactly what Yeshe Tsogyal did! In fact, she offered her own flesh to these gatekeeper Dakinis instead of that of a tigress and her cubs! .. but no, that's not gonna work this time. Turning away from the gates, Yeshe Tsogyal knew she had failed at her attempt at spiritual attainment during this journey and yet, she was still there in the charnel ground wandering around and not back in her cave .. so that means there's still a chance! Figuring out the solution after searching countless days and nights, Yeshe Tsogyal thought, "If I venture into the jungle, perhaps I can find a dead tigress and her cubs." (p. 138) In the jungle, Yeshe Tsogyal comes upon a mother tigress and her eighteen cubs. The cubs were small and hungry because there was no milk left to give from their mother, who was skin and bones herself. All were close to death. Yeshe Tsogyal felt unbearable compassion and made an aspiration prayer for their survival as she cut off pieces of her body and fed them to the dying tigress and her cubs. Near death herself now, Yeshe Tsogyal didn't care if she lived or died and only wanted to ensure the survival of this tigress and her cubs. The tigress moved by unbearable compassion as well, nursed Yeshe Tsogyal back from the brink of death and helped return Yeshe Tsogyal back to her former whole state. Upon being completely healed, Yeshe Tsogyal promises the tigress she won't die and in return, the tigress shows Yeshe Tsogyal the corpse of a dead tigress found further into the jungle. Yeshe Tsogyal cuts off the head of the dead tigress' corpse and throwing it onto her back, goes back to the city gates with bravery. Okay, so there's the tigress story for SBT homework, but there's more to this ... Once inside the city gates, Yeshe Tsogyal is lead by a red womxn to a feast table where the guests had human bodies with animal heads all eating together merrily. Completely mentally and emotionally messed up by this mish-mash of insanity, Yeshe Tsogyal is told she is perceiving things impurely because -- in fact -- all the guests were dakinis and heroes, and that the reason Yeshe Tsogyal is perceiving things impurely is because her channels and energies are not aligned. To show Yeshe Tsogyal how to do that, the red womxn tells Yeshe Tsogyal her past life story as Sole Goddess Fire Light followed by instructions on how to meditate on circulating energies within the central channel. Completely awed in following how to align her channels, Yeshe Tsogyal found the energies were cleared with the pure perception arising thus introducing clear light, and Yeshe Tsogyal could then bravely continue on toward the eastern side of the palace. There in the east, Yeshe Tsogyal found the twenty-one vase empowerments; in the south, she found the eleven longevity empowerments; in the west, she found the supreme illusion empowerment for the all-encompassing matrix of dakinis; and in the north, she found the major empowerment of awareness holders -- the empowerment of the fourfold joy of great bliss. Also in the north, the red womxn who was still Yeshe Tsogyal's companion also received the major empowerment of the awareness holders. Crossing over into the center of the palace, both Yeshe Tsogyal and the red womxn witnessed the Union of Great Bliss swirling and dancing around Vajrayogini who was gazing upwards holding a skullcup of blood and a curved knife. The crystal-like dancing swirl of this awareness holder conferred on Yeshe Tsogyal and the red womxn the unsurpassable four empowerments of the awareness holders. The red womxn then said to Yeshe Tsogyal, "It has been twelve months [in your part] of the charnel ground and it is time for you to return. There, you will find many more great spiritual awakenings." And with that, Yeshe Tsogyal was handed a skullcup wrapped in green silk -- it would never run dry of food or drink, and it would take Yeshe Tsogyal safely back to her retreat cave. Once back there, Yeshe Tsogyal continued to bravely with triumphant nondual compassion meet Her obstacles head on for the sake of all sentient beings. What have we learned from this female Buddha story of Yeshe Tsogyal and the Tigress in the Great Charnel Ground of Samye Chimpu? The tigress and Yeshe Tsogyal had a cyclic bond in that, had Yeshe Tsogyal died, the tigress would have been devastated with grief -- just as Yeshe Tsogyal would have been had the tigress died. Both females nourished the cubs with blood and milk and likewise, we pray to Vajrayogini to nourish us with Her blessings. Yeshe Tsogyal, like us, after continuous trial and error that lead to more and more suffering, finally grasped the spiritual attainment concept she was meant to within Chimpa charnel ground -- which was utilizing the means of kindness and nonreactivity when working with every obstacle. There is no delineation between guru, hungry ghosts, animals, or cannibal Dakinis -- we are all the same and of the same whole. We are shown that even a Buddha was once where we find ourselves and through Her example, we have the bravery and confidence to stay on this path because it simply makes sense -- let alone works! I believe this story was the manifested phenomena of Yeshe Tsogyal and even if it wasn't, what a beautiful meditative guru yoga experience she had within her Secret Wisdom Cave. Yeshe Tsogyal met Vajrayogini and was taken into Her care, she was blessed by the Five Dakinis, found another level of spiritual attainment to humbly teach us, bravely traced back the source of her suffering and of her bliss, created the practice of Cho which would be expanded in a future lifetime as Machig Labdron, learned what the subtle body was and how it is the pathway to liberation, and ultimately, Yeshe Tsogyal with the Wisdom Mind of Vajrayogini lovingly reaches back out to us to say, "Take my hand. I've done this before and it sucks, but it can be overcome. Allow me to show you ..." Yeshe Tsogyal's Past-Lifetime Prayer as Sole Goddess Fire Light: "I undertake this pure offering through blessings of the truth of the all-embracing expanse, beyond center and bounds, and through the immeasurable nondual compassion of infinite buddhas. I will make these pure offerings and undertake inexhaustible positive acts to cultivate the highest stores of goodness for the sake of all beings, with none left out. May I, together with every being, reach unsurpassable, spontaneous bliss."

Subtle Body Series VIII focuses on the "magic dance" of the dakini and the Dakini along the outline from Khandro-la @Dakinis Whisper that shows us how to move magically within the frame of guru yoga. Based on references from the book by Thinley Norbu entitled Magic Dance: The Display of the Self-Nature of the Five Wisdom Dakinis, Khandro-la elaborates how phenomena is expressed through our course dance and ultimately within our subtlest self. I've had that same book collecting dust on my bookcase since I read it before I found Khandro-la and so, after pulling it back out other then just to swipe a quote from it, it's a fresh read -- even with all my underlining and tabs. I recall when I read the book that it was fascinating and I was *just about there* in understanding what it all meant, but I couldn't grasp it (whatever *it* was). I rather enjoyed the end chapters on meditation practice, isolation, and art, but again, the perspective of those things through the dance of dakini wasn't taking shape for me yet. I shelved it and didn't realize it had cracked the code to the next karmic level I was about to level up to: enter Dakini's Whisper and now, I grasp *it*. Completely? .. no, but that's why I'm a dedicated student to SBT. Now, as I've been going through the book reading why I underlined this or that to study for this series, I've come upon the chapter called 'Magic and the Mysterious' (p. 61). I want to share most of the last page of that chapter aligning with Khandro-la's handout she gave us to follow: ""[Vajrayogini's] Wisdom Mind is pure and mysterious. It protects us because it is ultimately uncatchable and secret and so cannot be penetrated by the temporary worldly mysterious." "If we can recognize our own mysterious secret wisdom essence, which is the same from the beginning as [Vajrayogini's] mysterious secret wisdom essence, then enlightenment is no longer mysterious to us because, inseparable from [Her], we are the mysterious." "The earthquake cannot harm the mysterious sky no matter how much its powerful shaking overturns and destroys. The ocean cannot harm the mysterious sky no matter how much its turbulent waves flood and destroy. The fire cannot harm the mysterious sky no matter how much its angry flames burn and destroy. The hurricane cannot harm the mysterious sky no matter how much its violent winds blow and destroy."" I am so grateful for the sincere kindness and deep love Khandro-la shows us through her talent of teaching. Truly, there is no way I would have eclipsed the practice of guru yoga with the dance of the mysterious mind -- our dakini mind. My prayers have begun to reflect an urgency of doing what is necessary in samsara -- to be with it and not of it -- in order to keep my sacred sadhana practice along with my studies and meditation until the end of this lifetime. I cannot imagine a life without waking up to a class or teaching, without having Khandro-la's voice available to me through videos and text, or without Vajrayogini reflected back toward me. May I always find myself in the same great charnel ground as my heart teacher and guru, Khandro-la, to dance together like swans, monkeys, tigers, and any other form sentient beings require of us! *Interesting factoid: on p. 33 the opening quote beginning the chapter called 'Lineage' is from Milarepa, referencing our own -- "The teaching of the whispered lineage is the Dakini's breath."

It's been an impactful last two months for me and in this last week, I have seen the clearing beyond the woodline and have made a B-line towards it. I can talk at you all day about the rough feelings, the awkward asks for help, the anxiety that had settled into my chest, and even the cusp of a mid-life crisis I've seen the glimpse of at the edge of this charnel ground. The look of not exhaustion, but of sheer annoyance has etched itself onto my face as my wild hair and dirty feet continue to carry me to the edge of this ashline. I further imagine myself beating my damaru as the hollow reminder that I asked for this obstacle. Missing a weekend teaching to be with family, I rolled up the driveway and walked in the door. Annoyed. Sour. The noises of laughter and chopping of vegetables only brought out, "I'm going to the Temple," in me. I couldn't even give a greeting in the state I was in. I walked out the back patio door and down the short trail to the back stupa area of Deer Park. My routine is to walk two and a half times around it, stepping out of that round to go up into the Kalachakra Temple, and when I'm done there, I complete the rest of my three rounds to head back up the trail to the house. On repeat, I chant Vajrayogini's mantra and in the temple, I kneel before Her tapestry and tear my heart out. But that day, there I was ... ... newly kneeling when I saw it - a mouse at the foot of HHDL's picture, which is in front of Vajrayogini. "If there's ever a place to die ... you did good, little one." I was going to leave it until I was done and then take it outside, when suddenly it started making noises! I crawled over to it and this little thing must have been just older than a baby because it had fur and claws, but with its eyes still closed and its mouth making little sucking sounds. I went to the other shrine area in the temple and found a roll of paper towel to pick this baby up with. Outside it was so cold and windy, and with how the baby was acting I knew it was stunned and needed care - so I couldn't just set it down to figure the world out itself. Had I done that, I believe that would have been negligent and so, it and me went around the stupa three times while I chanted Vajrayogini's mantra aloud for this little one to hear. I petted its head while I walked back up the trail to the house. There, in a container with more paper towel, sunflower seeds, and a cap of water we sat together on the patio steps. It opened its eyes to look at me as I spoke to it and petted its head some more. After a bit, I found a place sheltered from the wind, though in the sunshine, under a shrub to set this little one in the comfort and security of the container. Sometime shortly after that, when it had gained enough strength and fortitude, it was no longer in the container when I went out to check on it. I knew the little mouse left on its own accord because nothing else was disturbed around where the container was, nor was anything within the container, and the water was still in the cap. I walked back in the house now ready to join the world myself. Did you hear that? .. a wee mouse cracked my heart open.

“Teachings tell us there are marks and signs to know when we’ve found a Dākinī and I ponder … just as I see Vajrayogini in the face of all sentient beings, what if I also choose to see the marks and signs of dākinī within them? When I do that, I sense which dākinī is hurting and so goes the train of thought, “What part of my dākinī can help them?” Is it my Karma Dākinī of action that is in the flash of smile alongside the skillful speech of Vajrayogini? Could it be the soft echo of wisdom and ash-covered footprints as my fierce Padma Dākinī calls to theirs from the charnel ground? How can I radiate the light of Vajra Dākinī to allow a feeling of bliss within their day? And the anxiety I see in their eyes my Ratna Dākinī calls out to embrace within Vajrayogini’s loving body, allowing inner child nurturing. How would I show them my own Buddha Dākinī in such a way that they need to help ease their mind? I admit I don’t know the list of the marks and signs of what to look for in a Dākinī, and I challenge myself to find them in my own way through a Bodhisattva’s eyes. In my past I’ve become lost in the contemplation of my own empathy and highly sensitive nature, but what if those heightened awarenesses are the Bodhisattva’s eyes that help a sentient being where no other could? That structure alone allows the self-grasping and the self-cherishing to be utterly cut at the root, offered up in the skullcup, again, to help those where no other could. May my dākinī always dance to help others.” — Personal Tsok Day Meditative Thoughts