When Shona said, "Tear a piece off and stick it in your ear," and with that, she stuck another piece up her nose. I watched in wonder, honestly, as I saw others do the same because as I brought out my own child to this experience, she said to me, "We aren't like them, are we?" I know as a child I did not stick things in my ears or nose, and I am always in beautiful awe at how others' inner children portray themselves. I appreciate the intricate differences we all have, and my quiet child just wanted to fold my paper over and over again. I took out pieces too that created holes in it which I wanted to put up to my face and look through - to see if I could see a Dakini or spirit. Creating things always has to have a purpose for me, like someone to give it to or some way to not be attached to it, so this was difficult for me. The second piece we created while our eyes were closed was so much easier, and I created a flower. When I opened my eyes, I saw the two could go together and because I didn't want to let them go yet, I put them into the center of my second creation. This task too was difficult for me because I don't like clutter and gathering things randomly together for me is again, something I am in awe of others' ability to do. For my creation, I used things that I use for my practices with Khandro-la on a mundane level - headphones and paperclips on my fur ottoman coverlet. Shona said the fur looked like waves and then, I thought of my shape as a large flower floating down a river. It was a blissful creative time for me in the end!

All my life my fierceness came out in a type of survival mode that can only be akin to an electric fence. It worked for me until it didn't, and the moment it stoped working was when Vajrayogini chose me. The shield and sword I still carry looks very different than what they used to - no longer do they have blood dripping off them with the echo of saddness. Now, they shine and the red is a fresh coat of paint in Her banner color with a Dakini's whisper on the wind. Before, too, I would wander with my armour so sure that behind every tree in the forest yielded a darkness I must fight against. Now, though, I wander with my armour so sure that behind every tree in the forest is a place I can find and spread healing. The Sambogakaya is a place of safety because I have become that safe place for myself and all who I encounter there. There is no need any longer for my boundaries to be electric fences, rather they are lined with red roses that reflect my fierce self-compassion Vajrayogini gave me back. Dakini wanders with me too, and I choose Them to be my fellow Shieldmaidens as I fiercely wander throughout the kayas.

Still basking in the luminous space of last weekend's Vajrayogini Empowerment, the commentary and teaching of Vajrayogini's Stages of the Path from our beloved teacher Khandro-la will start this weekend in the DAKINI PATH! We bring that precious and perfect space within us to be once again filled with truth, confidence, and love through the guidance of both Vajrayogini and Khandro-la. "Without moving an inch from inexpressible state, Dakini fully engages in the world of complexity, fabrication, and expression. Our journey of embodiment begins with finding the felt sense of each of the five energies within our own being. Then our practice unfolds in the paradoxical, magic dance of Dakinis between emptiness and appearance, wisdom, and compassion, or the absolute and relative." The DAKINI PATH will follow the outline brought to us by Khandro-la in the Dakini inspired words of her new book, Dakini Journey in the Contemporary World. As students of Khandro-la and practitioners of Vajrayogini's Path, we hold in our hands a sacred text just as yoginis, nuns, and great masters sought so hard to find. It should never be lost on us modern practitioners that we truly are the answer to many prayers we and others have expressed over many, many lifetimes. MAY WE ENTER ONTO THE DAKINI PATH WITH EACH OTHER, WE VAJRA SIBLINGS, FOLLOWING THE WISE AND CONFIDENT FOOTSTEPS OF ALL THOSE WHO HAVE COME BEFORE US WITH HUMBLE GRATITUDE AND FIERCE CONFIDENCE! artist unknown | Pinterest (page 45, 1.4 HER EXPRESSIONS - FIVE ELEMENTS AND FIVE DAKINIS; DAKINI JOURNEY in the CONTEMPORARY WORLD, Choying Khandro)

There are no non-auspicious days here within our community and though things have been a bit quiet of late, those meditative days have lead us to this weekend where we will be meeting the face of Vajrayogini. HOW AUSPICIOUS! This weekend also brings the Fall Equinox to the northern hemisphere and within the balance of day and night, we will be able to feel and see Dakini at work in the cool breeze which moves the clouds, in the colors of the changing leaves, and in honoring our Queen of Kechara and of the Dakini retinues - VAJRAYOGINI! Through the VAJRAYOGINI EMPOWERMENT, our teacher Khandro-la will reveal subtle and secret parts of ourselves so that we will be able to fearlessly and courageously be a lighthouse for the sake of all sentient beings. Vajrayogini Herself will plant the seed of commitment within us through this empowerment, and for that we cannot thank Khandro-la enough for bringing VAJRAYOGINI into this world to be our own lighthouse! "Dakini teaches us how to accomplish [bringing all levels of Dakinis together] using a method in which Outer, Inner, and Secret Dakinis, or external, internal, and sublime Dakinis, come together simultaneously. "Building a deeper, more stable connection with Dakini is crucial to this personal, experiential relationship with her, and each of us meets her in these different dimensions in our own way. All these levels of Dakini are inseparable, expressing different aspects of her essence. "The rational mind can be overwhelmed by this multi-dimensionality! We often want to figure it all out. Take a moment to pause with awe and wonder and consider how many different forms of Dakini can appear to guide us to awakening, and the variety of places in which we can meet them." MAY WE ALL SEE THIS WORLD WITH DAKINI EYES TO RECOGNIZE ALL SENTIENT BEINGS ARE LIGHTHOUSES IN VAJRAYOGINI'S EYES! (pages 81-82, 3.3 ALL IN ONE, ONE IN ALL; DAKINI JOURNEY in the CONTEMPORARY WORLD, Choying Khandro)

"Building a deeper, more stable connection with Dakini is crucial to this personal, experienced relationship with her, and each of us meets her in these different dimensions in our own way. All these levels of Dakini are inseparable, expressing different aspects of her essence. There is always this dynamic play or interplay between and among them. The rational mind can be overwhelmed by this multi-dimensionality! We often want to figure it all out. Take a moment to pause with awe and wonder and consider how many different forms of Dakini can appear to guide us to awakening, and the variety of places in which we can meet them. Consider perhaps the ways you have already experienced Dakini. she is not just in one fixed form; she is everywhere, and yet nowhere if recognized." Consider too those who have gone before us in that they are seen and felt in the leaves that move from the last of the summer breeze, in the bird formations that fly high overhead going south, and even reside as the Dakinis within our subtle bliss body. (pages 81-82, 3.3 ALL IN ONE, ONE IN ALL, DAKINI JOURNEY in the CONTEMPORARY WORLD, Choying Khandro)

The stages of the path - specifically Vajrayogini's path, drop us into all kinds of experiences to vault over or push through or even, if we choose, to completely ignore. If we choose to take these experiences on, through applying our practice we come to realize not every hinderance is a hard, negative one. And then, through subtle body application we can change our perspective to even see the hard and negative just like we do the easy, positive experiences. Where does that leave us as practitioners in the Charnel Ground? And, does finding the resonating feelings of the middle way mean that we have "leveled up"? Do any of these questions even matter as we traverse the DAKINI PATH? "We need to understand and be aware that her appearance and identity are purposely self-secret and non-self-existing. So, when we say, "to see or to meet" Dakini, it's really about the purification of our awareness. When we peel off our perceptions and conceptualizations that get in the way, we can see her. If our mind is pure, we can see everything as pure. In tantra, this is called scared outlook. Then we can see Dakini in whatever appearance she manifests." (page 139, 5.3 RECOGNIZING DAKINI, Volume II of the Heart of Cho: DAKINI JOURNEY in the Contemporary World, Choying Khandro) There will never be a time that we who have picked up Khandro-la's book, listened to her teachings, practiced alongside her, or felt her personal loving gaze will ever be able to thank her enough for bringing Dakini to us in both tangible and intangible form. Even on the days we feel like practice is easy in our charnel ground, we stay the course through Khandro-la's example.

It's near impossible to find words to express the sheer bliss in tandem with utter exhaustion from practicing Dakini Cho over five days, but here we are on the other side more confident and awake than ever before! What was found within our Dakini Cho Retreat was deeper than ourselves and though each experience is personal, collectively the appreciation and gratitude for our teacher, Choying Khandro, was held by all! Khandro-la'a commentary, love and patience, and personal knowledge of Dakini Cho is the precious gem we will carry with us in our mindstream. HOW WONDERFUL! HOW AUSPICIOUS! This - THIS is how we continue to make our lives meaningful!

In less than one hour, we begin our five-day retreat with Khandro-la to enter further into the stream of the Dakini Ear-Whispered Lineage of Cho! We who are participating throughout the five days know that we are blessed in so many ways to be able to continue on as part of this lineage's path. Truly, we will never be able to thank our teacher enough for walking beside us! And so, a prayer from the Vajrayogini Cho Tsok of Requesting the Fullfillment of Wishes as we embark on our journey with each other: "Grant us the spiritual accomplishment in pacifying, enriching and other activities! Oath-bound protectors, protect us! Help us obtain all accomplishments! Rid us of untimely death, illness, demons and impediments! Rid us of bad dreams, negative signs and calamities! May the world be joyous! May years be good! May harvests be abundant! May the Dharma flourish! May all happiness and goodness come about! May all our wishes be fulfilled!" artist unknown | Pinterest

"The Dakini boldly, sternly claims, "Without including the body, tantric practice is a waste of time!" Dakini [also] firmly adds, "The body is exactly the reason why tantric practice doesn't work!" The body is what makes tantra work. It is a vessel, a vehicle for awakening that is central to the tantric path. If tantra does not touch or transform our emotional life, it may be because we are out of a relationship with our body. In tantra then, we slowly or gradually enter the wilderness of our body which is sometimes an unknown and scary place to us. The body is the quickest, most powerful, and direct source of realizing, directly experiencing, and embodying our true nature. Everything that is to be transformed within the tantric practice is held within the body." (pages 230-231, 10.2 THE BODY AS THE PATH, Volume II of the Heart of Cho: DAKINI JOURNEY in the Contemporary World, Choying Khandro) Every day that we wake up back into this precious human life, we wake into the body mandala of Vajrayogini! Maybe we forget and remember over our coffee, but still we have arrived. Every moment is an opportunity to feel Dakini within our body though the good, bad, the ugly, and all the in between. Those moments are part of the whole and today, the whole is celebrating no matter what we do to be a part of it! Within the body mandala, all is just as perfect as it always was and there we find confidence and divinity. artwork by Farah Siddiq, @neptuneunderground

"When we meet Dakini in a dream or a vision, especially during intense retreats and practice as many ancient masters did or in mediation during our sadhana practice, this is called INNER DAKINI, the visionary Dakini, according to the four-classification system. We can say inner Dakini is a gift of the lineage because we connect with her through lineage transmissions and practices. These Dakinis are the expressions of the awakened mind of our lineage masters, manifesting in the subtle form, the so-called sambhogakaya form or Buddha's enjoyment body. In the auspicious prayer of the VAJRAYOGINI LONG SADHANA, this form of Dakini is described: "Body of radiant beauty, ablaze with the glory of signs and marks, Speech proclaiming the Great Vehicle with the sixtyfold melody. Mind with Fivefold Wisdom, blissful, luminous, and non-conceptual Let us all have the asupiciousness of the ecstatic Sambhogakaya!"" (page 168, 7.2 VISIONARY DAKINI, YIDAM DAKINI, Volume II of the Heart of Cho: DAKINI JOURNEY in the Contemporary World, Choying Khandro) As we who are starting our Dakini Cho Retreat with Khandro-la at the end of this week, it is not overlooked by us students that the blueprint within the book includes such concise advice at the exact moment we need it! The simplicity and one-pointedness of Dakini can create more confidence within us if we allow her whispers to be heard. Regardless if we are able to retreat this week, may we all find the space and safety to listen to what Dakini is telling us - even if we don't like what we hear!

Yesterday, a few of us students shared the last of the Kechara Journey Monthly Retreat with our teacher, Khandro-la. Next month, we will present what we have learned over the last two years in this retreat to the group and though bitter sweet, THE JOURNEY IS NOT OVER! Starting in September, we will start a new journey with Khandro-la that will lead us further down the path of Vajrayogini through the context of the Dakinis within the sections of Choying Khandro's new book, Volume II of the Hear of Cho: DAKINI JOURNEY in the Contemporary World! Khandro-la revealed to us yesterday a short concise and very Dakini realization that, "Dakini in her awakened form is Vajrayogini." What I want to highlight too is that we have been in an unconventional type of Vajrayogini Retreat for over two years as students participating in the Kechara Journey Monthly Retreat. Maybe we weren't in the wilderness and rather was surrounded by our householder's creature comforts, but the time between the monthly gatherings felt like - at least for me - we had been released into the wilderness of this contemporary world as baby Vajrayoginis. Nothing could have prepared [me] for what it meant to see the world through the eyes of Vajrayogini as She highlighted it in the colors of the Five Dakinis. I recognize too that my heart teacher, Khandro-la, gave us this opportunity as practitioners we didn't even realize! - WE JUST COMPLETED A LONG RETREAT! Though still learning and fumbling and growing, we baby Vajrayoginis are blossoming because of Khandro-la's soft kindness and fierce compassion. I know we all cannot express our gratitude enough for her! HOW AUSPICIOUS! HOW PRECIOUS! What a way to make our lives meaningful!

"Let go of the struggle of unpreferred suffering! Rest in whatever arises knowing it is primordial wisdom in disguise! The charnel ground is a practice site for tantric practitioners to transform and realize emptiness. Dakini is a midwife living there who assists in this transformation but not in a conventional way. We hear her fanatical laughter and the rattling sound of the bone ornaments wrapped around her dancing naked body. Standing face to face with her boldly gazing at us with challenging, darting, and blazing eyes, we follow her guidance as she shows the way the charnel ground can be transformed through our practice." (page 110-112, 4.2 Home of Dakinis, Volume II of the Heart of Cho: DAKINI JOURNEY in the Contemporary World) artwork by Cosmic Collage

Fierceness will show up in our lives at times and in spaces we never thought possible until Dakini leads us there - that love and compassion and support is always fierce because it is intrinsically her .. even if it doesn't roar loudly. Being able to show up for ourselves and others with soft ferocity speaks more loudly than any raised voice or thunderous clap! Knowing that Dakini has your back is what makes it possible to continue to gain confidence in ourselves and within our off-the-cushion practice. "Dakini does not communicate with ordinary words, concepts, logic, or even conventional types of teaching. To wake us up and challenge our habitual patterns and fixated ideas based on the ordinary paradigm we cling to, she teaches precisely, spontaneously, experientially, and often provocatively and shockingly through her actions, body, symbols, and other skillful means, which can be quite unconventional and surprising! The Hevajra Tantra states: "The twilight language is a secret language, a great convention of Dakinis, which the Sravakas and others cannot unriddle."" (page 140, 5.4 The Secret Language of Dakini, Volume II of the Heart of Cho: DAKINI JOURNEY in the Contemporary World)

Padma Dakini is reigning high in the skies as today is the longest day of the year! Today is the first official day of summer, though Padma Dakini has been showing us her force in the warmth that brings about Vajra Dakini in the humidity, the green leaves and new life blossoming of Ratna Dakini, the much needed cooling winds of Karma Dakini, and in all that Padma Dakini creates vast space for Buddha Dakini that surrounds us all! In the meditation PADMA-FIRE DAKINI: Fierce Lady who Transforms Desire, "Now, begin radiating heat out into the world by closing the lower gate and radiating radiating the heat of your love and compassion like a sunbeam. Notice the bliss that arises in the body. A pleasant sensation may arise. Allow it to spread all over the body and out to the world. Feel that with your entire body and world are suffused with your love and wisdom fire. Then, gather the heat back to your body, to your navel center and to your heart center. Eventually, let it dissolve into the clear light of emptiness and great bliss. Then rest without any reverence point." (pages 339-340, Volume II of the Heart of Cho: DAKINI JOURNEY in the Contemporary World)

"So those three things Dakini asks us to have, and she protects us from getting sidetracked from those basic ingredients on our DAKINI JOURNEY. The point of this teaching is not to develop superstitious ideas about Dakini but to develop our ability to attune ourselves to this consistent source of blessings of Dakinis, which is always available. These blessings are passed down to us through our teacher and our lineage masters, in the form of Dakinis. Dakinis always bring us the blessings of support, encouragement, confidence, trust, and protection, as well as challenges and discipline." (page 144, 5.5 DAKINIS PROTECTION FOR GENUINE PRACTITIONERS, Volume II of the Heart of Cho: DAKINI JOURNEY in the Contemporary World) Teachings and practice from this weekend's offerings with Khandro-la reached into our shadow depths and brought up the debris into the light. Regardless of what surfaced, we learned about Dakini protection and why we need that as we sift through our lives.

"Dakini warns us, "We must be very clear about what we are awakening into!" What I am presenting here is based on Lama Tsongkhapa's explanation. In that context, we awaken into the clear light mind with a full understanding of emptiness. That is what we need to come to in the end. This is the subtlest or formless dimension of Dakini, Secret Dakini. However, and this is the foremost point, this clear light mind itself does not necessarily understand emptiness." (page 208, Volume II of the Heart of Cho: DAKINI JOURNEY in the Contemporary World) There are times in our human life when we need to pause and integrate, where it feels like we are at a stand still of sorts. And in reading this excerpt from the book in the chapter 'Dakini As The Great Mother', I see the stillness of Secret Dakini taking hold of our course body and its habitual patterns - a pause of stillness within integration is the greatest gift from Dakini, who is caring for us always like a mother would her only child. artwork by Yen Chua

"Dakini declares, "The more emptiness, the more bliss! The more bliss, the more emptiness! It's like a snowball effect!" We know that bliss is a state that focuses the mind, sharpens our felt and sensory perceptions, and brings clarity and lucidity. As we bring our mind to that bliss level of alertness, awareness, and sensitivity, we can perceive its emptiness. Even in our ordinary experience, when we have a tremendous blissful experience, we have a chance to let go of the habitual clinging to the self. In that openness, the absence of the self, there is an opportunity to perceive the emptiness of self and reality." (page 211, Volume II of The Heart of Cho: DAKINI JOURNEY in the Contemporary World) Dakini speaks to us through authentic sources, like our very own Khandro-la, which provides no citations to the radical truth Dakini gifts us with. Many people seek some type of convoluted means to an end, but here we realize Dakini is not complicated at all - if we just allow her to speak to us! From that authentic place, we move in the fierce playfulness of Dakini gifted to us through our teacher!

"I AM WILD AND UNTAMED!" Dakini is wild in nature in the sense that she is beyond the ordinary way of being and looking at things. Dakini is wary of and lets go of social and cultural conditioning., perhaps even actively fighting against it. She releases judgment and projection about conventionally questionable behaviors. She steps into her own awakened power and does not stay in the comfort zone of ego-based habitual patterns and concepts of "good girl" or "good boy". In fact, one of Dakini's functions is to help us cut through our habitual conceptuality. To wake us up on our journey, her conduct often seems eccentric, boldly displaying contrived wildness. She represents a radical shift from doing with constraint to being without contrivance." (page 87, Volume II of The Heart of Cho: DAKINI JOURNEY in the Contemporary World) To be able to walk fiercely and confidently in this world, we practitioners must realize that Dakini is beside us every step of the way. Khandro-la's book is a blueprint of how we recognize those qualities within ourself to give back to the world - there's no other reason we have this precious human life! Compassion is not always sugarcoated and easy, rather it can be bold and swift with sharp teeth. And so, may compassion find us through Dakini in whatever form we need most moment to moment!