Forum Posts

Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Jul 04, 2022
In Meeting the Dakini!
I know now, if grief had a voice, she would be a dakini. What would she say to you?
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Jun 26, 2022
In 21st Century Experiences
I have always felt conflicted about self-compassion and boundaries as a Buddhist practitioner…. well and as a human being. I know that if I truly yearn to free all beings from suffering, I must attain enlightenment for myself and that involves caring for this relative human body. So, gentle, loving-kindness towards myself is part of my own path to enlightenment. I also see a “slippery slope” here. When does self-compassion become a way of stroking and holding up my ego with all my conditioned, habitual patterns and illusionary stories of my life and relations? When does self-compassion become an obstacle to my complete awakening? And then there are these so-called boundaries. Khandro-la teaches us that the deeper we go into our lineage practices with dakinis, Vajrayogini, the more we begin to wonder where the boundary is between self and others. I have found in my life that setting a “boundary” often just meant that I was building a wall to protect myself in some way – protect my ego, and my sense of self, safety, comfort, usually rooted in some fear whose root could likely be found in a hidden wound from long ago that re-surfaced. I just didn’t recognize it. I wonder, are there boundaries in the charnel ground? In this way of thinking, I know I need help in seeing my self-compassion and boundary setting clearly. I wonder what Shakyamuni Buddha taught about boundaries and self-compassion? In the Golden Nectar Tea Offering for Palden Lhamo, we ask for her to “eliminate all adverse conditions and complete every condition beneficial to us.” I know my ordinary view of myself and others is one of these “adverse conditions.” I believe that completely and honestly looking into that with a mirror in front of my face, is a “condition” that will benefit me and lead me to enlightenment. So I request to her - Palden Lhamo, when I practice self-compassion and boundary setting in this human realm, please “please perform the entrusted actions” to assure I do this “without a trace of polluted emotion.” In other words, please feel free to pull the rug out from underneath my feet so that I can see my own "polluted emotions" clearly, vividly. May the precious bodhicitta Not yet born arise and grow. May that which has been born have no decline But increase more and more!
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Jun 17, 2022
In Ask Khandro-la
My Personal Retreat experience has drawn, sometimes, painful attention to differences between my on-the-cushion and off-the cushion experiences. With the great fortune of your teachings from this lineage, I have confidence in the "knowing" that these 2 experiences are, in essence, the same. And yet, the truth of my human life is that they often feel different, especially in regards to being a force of "fierce compassion" in the world. Can you give some practical guidance in regards to bringing the spiritual inspiration from the cushion into my human world off-the-cushion?
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
May 24, 2022
In 21st Century Experiences
" From the Land of Pure Snows Golden Nectar drops Flow To my Teacher a Deep bow “
Shona celebrating our teacher. content media
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
May 22, 2022
In 21st Century Experiences
I found this writing by our ancient lineage Lama, Lobsang Chokyi Gyeltsan, to express my devotion to our own Lama Khandro-la. "At times I see the way things appear and sudden tears pour down my face. Sadness, pitiful, our fear and despair. At times too I see how things really are and then all I can do is laugh out loud, and a sense of peace spreads deep inside. How do you feel, my friends who know - when you stand and look at the people around us, tortured by happiness, tortured by pain, all of it brought on as these feelings of liking or disliking things infect their minds over things that are every bit as real as the alluring smile of a young maiden born from the womb of a woman who's been barren from birth? Come, place all your hopes in a Master from an authentic lineage. Devote yourself to learning and contemplating a wide variety of the classical texts which teach the meaning that's literal. Fill the very center of the fragrant bloom of your heart with those ideas which are the deepest of all. These are just a few little jewels, words that I've scattered along the way."
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Mar 23, 2022
In Ask Khandro-la
1. When doing the 5 Dakini Practice and reciting the general mantra of all dakinis after one has completed the mantra accumulations, do we include the "HUM HA ANZE SVAHA?" 2. Are you suggesting that we do the Short Palden Lhamo Offering practice daily? 3. Is the Short Palden Lhamo Offering practice only to be done in the morning? Or can it be done anytime during the day?
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Mar 09, 2022
In Subtle Body & Therapeutic
Today, after a rather tedious and frustrating experience with the technology we use for our bi-weekly announcements called Mailchimp, I did a "SB as Sadhana practice." I think it may have been one of the most robust, embodied subtle body experiences I have had. Thank you, Venerable Mailchimp.
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Mar 07, 2022
In 21st Century Experiences
Is it fitting that a 21st century Monlam Festival leaves one feeling on fire for the world? As Khandro-la says, this Cho journey is not for "sissies." This weekend's Monlam touched me deeply and literally set my heart on fire! Ready to jump off the cliff of self-absorption and dive into the river of bodhisattvas, waves and waves of bodhisattvas....here I go!
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Feb 27, 2022
In Subtle Body & Therapeutic
Troma Nakmo accompanied me on my morning walk today. It was a surprise and she was uninvited, though welcomed gratefully. She was quiet, saying little - actually, saying nothing at all. There was a fierceness in her silence, burning energy, a force of strength. In the swirling, ferocious quiet I vividly saw this paradox I am living - the excruciating reality of our grandaughter's tragic death by suicide with a glimpse into the mode of existence, emptiness you can say. They keep crashing into each other! This morning the burning energy of Troma Nakmo became a mirror somehow for looking at my own mind and seeing what is really possible now on the path to awakening for the sake of all beings - bodhicitta....my heart breaking open and being released from the "prison of my own mind."
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Feb 24, 2022
In Journeys & Retreat
Khandro-la's teachings on the long sadhana in Kechara Journey are instilling some "new perspectives" in my practice. I am referring to new curiosities and perhaps understandings about inner offerings - this external imaginary experience and internally, what potential is here. The container as the skull cup has represented to me "going to the charnel ground"...this fearless attitude of drinking blood, destroying ego. I am imagining now too the purification, generation and transformation aspect on a new level or in a newer way. I am still allowing it to unfold without trying to solidify or analyze it. But something has shifted for me, and the "ritual" of offering - imagined or real - is becoming closely tied to cutting through this ordinary perception, conceptions, all the obstacles to sacred dignity and clear seeing. I would love to hear of others' experiences with these teachings and practices we are learning.
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Feb 22, 2022
In In the Charnel Grounds
DW's Public Sunday this past week was an invitation to Cho via Machik Labdron's 5 Slogans. These slogans have deep meaning to me and I actually recite them every morning. Reciting them I do feel like such a fearless dakini! Listening to Khandro-la's talk and the stimulating conversation among fellow students, I decided I may need to "lighten up" a bit here when it comes to these slogans. For instance, instead of considering the endless possibility of "hidden faults" I can uncover and confess, I can bring my understanding of emptiness to them directly, to liberate them so they can be transformed into this wisdom of emptiness. Then, and only then, can my heart break open with compassion for others' "hidden faults." And after all, this is why we are here, right?
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Feb 08, 2022
In 21st Century Experiences
"On every atom are Buddhas numberless as atoms, Each amidst a host of bodhisattvas, And I am confident the sphere of all phenomena Is entirely filled with Buddhas in this way." From King of Prayers, The Extraordinary Aspiration of the Samantabhadra's Practice Buddhas and bodhisattvas are everywhere, here and there, inside and outside, earth, water, fire, wind, space, inhaling and exhaling, heavenly fields and charnel grounds. I am seeing them. I am confident the entire world is filled with Buddhas and bodhisattvas.
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Jan 31, 2022
In 21st Century Experiences
We had some snow and ice on our back deck and steps. I was being careful to avoid falling and reflexively went to grab what I thought, from the corner of my eye, was the step railing. Instead I grabbed an icicle which, of course, came off into my hand and threw me off balance. Fortunately, I avoided the fall and in the midst of re-balancing had a flash of insight. I laughed out loud and thought, 'don't go grabbing icicles, Ellen, when you are seeking support and balance. They will come off in your hand and throw you off your feet.' How many icicles am I grabbing for in my life?
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Jan 30, 2022
In Subtle Body & Therapeutic
Khandro-la shared 6 qualities of Dakinis yesterday in our SBT Dakini II series - alluring, wild, courageous, frightening, compassionate, ferocious! WOW, these are loaded, don't you think! We danced, moved, sang embodying all of these rich and somewhat provocative qualities. This morning, as I was reciting the short 6-session Guru Yoga verse, "by means of holding both sutra and tantra, may I liberate all sentient beings," I thought - could these 6 intriquing Dakini qualities represent the 6 paramitas? Let's see... Alluring through generosity that is free from self-cherishing Disciplined wildness or crazy wisdom Courageous patience that is limitless Wisdom that might be perceived as frightening in its bold clarity Concentrated, off-the-cushion compassionate meditation in action Fierce diligence in practicing the dharma May all Dakinis, seen and unseen, through their qualities and the 6 paramitas, strive to liberate all sentient beings.
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Jan 29, 2022
In 21st Century Experiences
In grief I yearn, deeply long, for the blessings of the Masters. I beg them, "please, please, please bless my mindstream. I know you have tread this path of grief. I know you received life's shocks and deep losses as aids to the path to awakening. Yet, I know you grieved deeply in your own life too. Please, please, please bless my mindstream with "waves of inspiring strength" so that this broken heart may continue to expand and hold the suffering of all beings with deep love, wisdom and fearlessness.
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Dec 31, 2021
In 21st Century Experiences
Namo Guru Khandro-la, I bow down to my teacher, endless source of dharma, gut-wrenching wisdom, and boundless bodhicitta. Looking for instruction and methods to become this wish-fulfilling jewel for the world, I jumped off the cliff. I looked and saw a river there, a river flowing with blessings of ancient teachings and practices. Dakinis appeared in all forms and whispered in my ear, "Ellen, you are the one who holds the diamond, after all. It is you. It is everyone." I heard. I felt. I smelled. I tasted. I touched a glimpse of this truth. Swimming in the river, I recognize, realize, relax. Dancing and singing I embody, experience. Holding the diamond, I polish it and offer it, again and again and again.
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Dec 30, 2021
In Journeys & Retreat
Practicing mahamudra, recognizing kleshas, stepping back, looking directly.....leads me directly, literally and figuratively, to our Purification Retreat and Regrets/Remorse. "I must practice the antidote right away, without a second's delay."
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Dec 29, 2021
In Journeys & Retreat
I made a note from Khandro-la's teaching during the last KJ that in the Guru Yoga visualization of Guru Vajradharma adorned with the six bone ornaments, the 6th one is ashes smeared on his body from the charnel ground. Each time I visualize this now, my body/mind swoons with waves of inspiring strength.
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Dec 27, 2021
In Journeys & Retreat
"We tend to consider moving mind as a distraction but there is no possibility of escaping moving mind. Look and see it's true nature!" This may not be an exact quote from Khandro-la's teachings yesterday in MMJ, but for me it was a powerful message and is still resounding through my mind. What is my direct experience of these words? Is it my moving mind or my still mind that is responding to these words? Is there any difference? Who or what is responding to these words of wisdom? Deepening my relationship with this mind, I step back and look. Deep bow to you, Khandro-la, and to my fellow MMJ pilgirms.
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)
Dec 24, 2021
In In the Charnel Grounds
In terms of the 3 poisons, so you think the wish or longing for things to be different than they are is 'desire' or 'ignorance?' Or actually, now that put this out there, I am thinking it's a sort of 'aversion' as well...aversion to what is happening and desire for it to be different because of 'ignorance' - not seeing things the way they really are....ah, samsara!
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Ellen Green (Yeshe Wangmo)

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