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Louise
May 07, 2023
In Subtle Body & Therapeutic
Today's SBT - Tummo was fabulous, allow me to write it down and share. KL asked: Which movement do you like the most? (at the end of the class) Mine was not a movement, it was when I didn't move, the HOLD (holding the breath). It was so powerful! Heat went through my entire body inside out, through all my pores and warming all my organs. Of course it was due to a lot of prior loosening up guided by Khandro-la. I went to a track & field to speed-walk (can't run now) laps after dinner, the open-ness was still accessible, as if my body is 20 years younger. I probably will test it out again tomorrow. One more ... I finally heard the word "Surrender" after KL has said it about 500 times. When I do Guru Yoga, I try so hard (a no no here I know) to visualize the Three Jewels, the Guru, the Offerings, the Sentient Beings, the Dedication. It's probably ok but not in my case, I think I have been trying too hard to focus my visualization and I didn't get what I tasted today, the Sweetness of SURRENDER!!! It's NOT about how good I visualize the objects, it's about my heart, my openness, my devotion, my surrender! Just love it!!!
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Louise
Feb 16, 2023
In In the Charnel Grounds
"I'm a pilgrim, and I'm a stranger, I can tarry, I can tarry but a night. Do not detain me, for I am going, Yea, going where great bliss in empitness. There the knowing is ever resting, Oh my longing heart, my longing heart is there. Here in Samsara, so dark and dreary. Too long I've wandered, sad and weary. There's the charnal ground, to which I journey. My Dakini is my guide, my light. Freedom is no clinging, nor any attachment. Thou love my star, by day and by night." I offered this song "I'm a pilgrim" today in Dakini Day Cho Tsok, and I promised to post the lyrics on the blog. I always like this song, and I have changed a few words from this originally a Christian song by Herbert Johnson. "Maybe we did it together before, hundreds of years ago ... gathered in the charnel grounds and performed Tsok offerings to various beings". Khandro-la led us to this timeless journeying before we started the Tsok sadhana. Today we gather in the cyber world sitting in front of the screens in different parts of the world, but we still do it the same way with the same tunes, just like the old days.
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Louise
Dec 10, 2022
In NEW Dakini Journey
This is a common Chinese saying, when commenting how fast the women change their mind, don't trust them as they are emotionally driven. However, I think, not bad for the qualities of a formless adaptive heart-centered way of living. How admirable! This Chinese saying has a certain truth. Water made up 60% of the human body, men and women. Just to look at myself, the majority of my physical existence - the water - has been recycling for eons. That's literally the Samaric death and rebirth is displaying inside of me in every moment. The water inside of me could have bathed the Buddha's feet, could have been the tear of Mother Mary, the blood of Jesus, the siliva of Je Jsonghapa. Or maybe on the shady side, the brain fluid of Adolf Hitler, the sweat of Genghis Khan. The water inside of my body has been in the sky, in the rain, in the river, in the deep sea... So... the majority of me has a history that is not really "my" history. The majority of me is everything, every gender, every nationality and everywhere. Then who am I? Every now and then I revisit these thoughts of Water Dakini, and she takes my mind to travel far far away. It helps me to cherish less of my existence, the "Self" is harder to find, my "ID" is becoming hazy. Right now at this very moment, I am having your water, and you are having mine. We are interconnected!
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Louise
Nov 24, 2022
In Subtle Body & Therapeutic
I just saw this quote that is so profound, how can I not share it here: "Within my body are all the sacred places of the world, " the Buddhist saint Saraha once said, "and the most profound pilgrimage that I can ever make is within my own body. "
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Louise
Nov 20, 2022
In Subtle Body & Therapeutic
The movements for 6-Session Guru Yoga that we have learned recently in the Subtle Body Training are bringing a positive enriching effect to my daily practice. I usually do the movements two rounds, and sit down for the third session with meditation. It has magically deepened the visualization, and enhanced the flavour! And I am feeling good stretching my body a little bit as Winter is already here. Khadro-la is being very kind and generous, the recording is now posted on YouTube. https://youtu.be/G_IA-byfd-s Enjoy!
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Louise
Sep 18, 2022
In Subtle Body & Therapeutic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTt2KTkwGZ8 The text is on the subtitle, you will see when you turn on the caption. I found the text from a pdf distributed in a much earlier SBT class too.
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Louise
Aug 26, 2022
In In the Charnel Grounds
This journey is filled with doubts but my pace doesn't hesitate. This journey is repetitive but is fascinating. This journey is lonesome but never lacks connectedness. I was told to "Rest in it". In our last Cho Mastery Journey gathering, I asked how to deal with doubts. Am I doing it right? Am I doing it enough? Am I making any change? The vastness of the Dharma could be intimidating. The wisdom word from our dearest Khandro-la is REST!!! Rest in the experience... Rest in the feelings... (She said something else but I couldn't quite hear them, I was in shock.) The idea is nothing new, but receiving the direct instruction at the right moment, I want to call it divine. I am writing it down to remind myself, and to express my huge gratitude, feeling grateful to be in this sangha seeking refuge together. When I am chasing around, I want to remember this. Rest!
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Louise
Jul 26, 2022
In Journeys & Retreat
In the late 70’s, the evening news in Hong Kong was always about the refugees from Vietnam. I remember seeing them on the TV, and I still remember. When they finally made it to the shores by those flimsy boats, of course they were joyful and excited. However, I couldn’t miss noticing signs of torment, fear, worry, exhaustion, sickness, even death, written on the sun-scorched face, matted hair, torn clothes, and starved body. There are many stories to tell. But, as a matter of fact, none of them likes to talk about their journey. I have friends who were the “boat people”, they do not want to talk about their times on the boat. They just don’t! They have seen sickness, hunger, trenchery, robbery, death. What they had experienced was terrifying, inhumane, painful and sad. I couldn’t imagine what it is like on a tiny boat in the sea, only to meet with the blazing sun, the angry ocean waves, pirates, sharks and diseases, all coming at once to harm. What was that made them leave their familiarities behind, with almost nothing on them and hop onto a small boat? What did they envision that they would pay big money for the unpromised dream? … I leave that to you to answer. Yesterday at the Refuge vows ceremony, Khandro-la asked: Why are you taking Refuge? What is Refuge? Oh… wait a minute (light-bulb moment) … AM I A REFUGEE NOW? That’s when those faces I saw on TV all came back to me. DO I LOOK LIKE THEM? I wish I could! I really do! I wish I had their kind of determination, to give up everything for a one-way ticket, and not turn back. I wish I had their kind of faith to jump onto a boat right here right now. I wish I had their visions of what awaits in the dream land. If I am not a refugee, there is no refuge being taken. Unless I take refuge with the refugee’s demeanor of courage, undistracted determination and unwavering faith, I am not truly taking refuge. Renunciation is the foundation, Khandro-la said. It is the very essential part of liberation. This is so true! If the boat people never had taken the leap of faith, they would never have found liberation. At all costs they jump onto the boat, their strong determination conquers all obstacles. I shall remind myself the demeanor of a refugee everyday when I recite <Taking Refuge>: Not until I call out to Buddha: Please help! Not until I cry out to the Dharma: Please save me! Not until I beg the Sangha: Please let me in! Not until I see myself as a refugee, I am not truly taking refuge.
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Louise
Jun 22, 2022
In Retreat
During the May-2022 retreat, anything that could go wrong has gone wrong for me: physical, financial, with people, appliances and even pets. The resistance is strong, and I have no choice, but to bring out a strong determination. Isn’t that the same thing as people working out in the gyms? Resistant training? (Thanks Khandro-la foretold that retreat sometimes is a lot of mess, so I was well prepared.) Not even 2 weeks into the retreat, one midnight my right eye turned blood-red.Within 2 hours I could not take any light, not even a dim candle light, it hurt so much. My left eye was slowly developing to the same thing. It was 2am, so I quickly went to bed hoping the eyesight would be restored the next day. Waking up in a worse situation, my visit to the doctor gave me some very strong words: “You could be blind! It is dangerous! Go to the hospital emergency now!” “That’s not the plan … I am in a Retreat!” “How could things fall off the wagon just like this?!” I thought to myself. In retrospect, NOTHING has gone wrong. In fact, all has gone perfectly right. I have always been a kind person and usually generous, but that’s not Bodhicitta. Reading books or reciting sadhana do not bring Bodhicitta. Bodhicitta is altruism and equanimity, my kindness is way far from that. My lay-kindness is segregation and bias, lots of you and me, him and her. I have been longing for the transformation, and viola … when I was blind, I did Tonglen. (1st time in my life because it was on the assignment list, thanks again!) At that point, in the midst of hopeless suffering, I experienced the ONENESS. I did not even care about the formality of “arranging” a Tonglen meditation, I did it right there and then when the inspiration arose. I was standing and this very intensive Tonglen gushing out from the bottom of my heart truthfully. The taking and giving has no me, no them, no division and without any reservation. That moment, I tasted Bodhicitta. Think that I will share it with my Vajra siblings in this retreat. If you are seeing obstacles, look again! I only realized many days later about my experience. Although I likely won’t finish all the accumulations of mantras, I will just give myself one more week, no big deal. But having a glimpse of Bodhicitta is a big deal to me! (BTW: my eyes are all fine now. It was an abrasion on cornea a few layers deep, germs went in and caused acute infection. Prescribed for antibiotic drops and antiviral pills that have me well covered.)
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Louise
Feb 23, 2022
In In the Charnel Grounds
When the first slogan “Confess your hidden faults” was introduced by Khadro-la, I thought these Five Slogans of Machig Labdron would be much similar to Vajrasattva’s repentance practices. However, this self-invented assumption just proved once again how a preoccupied mind can fail me. It actually has blocked me from comprehending the following 4 slogans. Luckily in the recent session, Khadro-la has introduced the Mahamudra’s approach: KEEP IT FRESH!!! That helped me to stay on track. 😥Oh no … The five slogans are so difficult to do!!! Yet, they are just plain simple! 🤗These instructions are so clear, direct and explicit. Now I know how far I am from a true renunciation, how closely I am holding onto self-grasping. Thanks to Khandro-la! Thanks to Machig Labdron! Your compassionate wisdom is the source of inspiration! When walking the talk genuinely, one would easily live all five slogans naturally and effortlessly. The key is: Emptiness is not what printed on a book; Emptiness is an embodiment. Note: Five Slogans Confess your hidden faults. Approach what you find repulsive. Help those you think you cannot help (sometimes translated as those you do not want to help). Anything you are attached to, give that. Go to the places that scare you.
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Louise
Dec 05, 2021
In Subtle Body & Therapeutic
Never thought of moving (vigorously) is such an effective and powerful practice. Each session has different taste conducive to many profound insights and effective mind-taming. I think the most rewarding result for me is to connect with my chakras and channels, which I did not expect prior to joining the class. I love it when we all discuss on the qualities of the Dakini/Deity of the week. The time went so fast with each class and now we have come to the end, I hope next round will happen soon again!
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Louise
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