Jun 22, 2022
During the May-2022 retreat, anything that could go wrong has gone wrong for me: physical, financial, with people, appliances and even pets. The resistance is strong, and I have no choice, but to bring out a strong determination. Isn’t that the same thing as people working out in the gyms? Resistant training? (Thanks Khandro-la foretold that retreat sometimes is a lot of mess, so I was well prepared.) Not even 2 weeks into the retreat, one midnight my right eye turned blood-red.Within 2 hours I could not take any light, not even a dim candle light, it hurt so much. My left eye was slowly developing to the same thing. It was 2am, so I quickly went to bed hoping the eyesight would be restored the next day. Waking up in a worse situation, my visit to the doctor gave me some very strong words: “You could be blind! It is dangerous! Go to the hospital emergency now!” “That’s not the plan … I am in a Retreat!” “How could things fall off the wagon just like this?!” I thought to myself. In retrospect, NOTHING has gone wrong. In fact, all has gone perfectly right. I have always been a kind person and usually generous, but that’s not Bodhicitta. Reading books or reciting sadhana do not bring Bodhicitta. Bodhicitta is altruism and equanimity, my kindness is way far from that. My lay-kindness is segregation and bias, lots of you and me, him and her. I have been longing for the transformation, and viola … when I was blind, I did Tonglen. (1st time in my life because it was on the assignment list, thanks again!) At that point, in the midst of hopeless suffering, I experienced the ONENESS. I did not even care about the formality of “arranging” a Tonglen meditation, I did it right there and then when the inspiration arose. I was standing and this very intensive Tonglen gushing out from the bottom of my heart truthfully. The taking and giving has no me, no them, no division and without any reservation. That moment, I tasted Bodhicitta. Think that I will share it with my Vajra siblings in this retreat. If you are seeing obstacles, look again! I only realized many days later about my experience. Although I likely won’t finish all the accumulations of mantras, I will just give myself one more week, no big deal. But having a glimpse of Bodhicitta is a big deal to me! (BTW: my eyes are all fine now. It was an abrasion on cornea a few layers deep, germs went in and caused acute infection. Prescribed for antibiotic drops and antiviral pills that have me well covered.)
May 25, 2022
In Ask Khandro-la
I have acquired a damaru months ago and kept it inside of its own casing, never been used. I took it out yesterday and found that it doesn't sound the same as I first received it. The surface has turned uneven, like ripples of puffed-up loosened pockets. Therefore, it sounds dull and the balls are not getting the bounce for them to turn. Do you think I could fix it? Thanks.
Feb 23, 2022
In In the Charnel Grounds
When the first slogan “Confess your hidden faults” was introduced by Khadro-la, I thought these Five Slogans of Machig Labdron would be much similar to Vajrasattva’s repentance practices. However, this self-invented assumption just proved once again how a preoccupied mind can fail me. It actually has blocked me from comprehending the following 4 slogans. Luckily in the recent session, Khadro-la has introduced the Mahamudra’s approach: KEEP IT FRESH!!! That helped me to stay on track. 😥Oh no … The five slogans are so difficult to do!!! Yet, they are just plain simple! 🤗These instructions are so clear, direct and explicit. Now I know how far I am from a true renunciation, how closely I am holding onto self-grasping. Thanks to Khandro-la! Thanks to Machig Labdron! Your compassionate wisdom is the source of inspiration! When walking the talk genuinely, one would easily live all five slogans naturally and effortlessly. The key is: Emptiness is not what printed on a book; Emptiness is an embodiment. Note: Five Slogans Confess your hidden faults. Approach what you find repulsive. Help those you think you cannot help (sometimes translated as those you do not want to help). Anything you are attached to, give that. Go to the places that scare you.
Jan 16, 2022
In Ask Khandro-la
Hello Khandro-la: It was a wonderful session today regarding vows. May I request the quotation you cited in the beginning about Moralitty ... water ... moonlight ... purify karma ... Thanks!
Dec 05, 2021
In Subtle Body & Therapeutic
Never thought of moving (vigorously) is such an effective and powerful practice. Each session has different taste conducive to many profound insights and effective mind-taming. I think the most rewarding result for me is to connect with my chakras and channels, which I did not expect prior to joining the class. I love it when we all discuss on the qualities of the Dakini/Deity of the week. The time went so fast with each class and now we have come to the end, I hope next round will happen soon again!